Snacks

In honor of Trent Hidlay’s World Championship run, this week’s Snacks goes back to edition #27, where we revisit his tips and insights for wrestling parents, athletes, and coaches.

Trent Hidlay: 5X NCAA All-American, 2X NCAA National Runner-up, 4X ACC Champion at NC State. Junior World Bronze Medalist, U23 World Silver Medalist, and 2025 Senior World Champion!

Below are some excerpts from our conversation, along with key takeaways and tips that can be applied to improve yourself as a Coach, Athlete, or wrestling Parent.

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Origin Story Tip: Think about this. Someone who disliked the sport of wrestling and almost quit in 7th and 8th grade went on to become a 5X NCAA All-American (and World Champion!). You never know what might inspire an athlete to refocus and turn things around. Keep your kids moving forward in difficult things. Quitting something when they no longer “feel like it” can hinder real progression in a sport or skill. More often than not, a passion comes after honing a craft year after year, week after week.

"Well, I started when I was five years old. Obviously, my older brother, Hayden, started when he was two years older than me. A year after he started, I think my parents kind of enjoyed the thought of him doing it. I was a fiery kid, a lot of energy, and it just seemed natural for me to give it a try. So, I started and followed in his footsteps. I think he was pretty naturally good at it when he started, and me, not so much. I was a little bullheaded, always throwing temper tantrums and maybe getting put on my back, but I was pretty athletic and strong, so I figured it out eventually. We had a really good youth program, with some of my friends from other sports and kids from school, which was really good. It helped me transition into the sport and stay committed. I wrestled with the elementary program up until fifth grade, then into the junior high program and high school. We come from Mifflin County, which has a rich history in central PA, known for great wrestling and many good people from those small towns. We were lucky to grow up in a good environment where wrestling was popular and had good coaches who taught us the fundamentals and basics of the sport.

Definitely a lot of sports growing up. I played baseball, football, golf in the summers, attended basketball camps occasionally, and was on the swim team for a year. But in ninth grade, I stopped playing football and baseball and went full-time with wrestling. My story is kind of funny; in seventh and eighth grade, I really did not like wrestling at all. I wanted to quit and just play baseball and football. I had a lot more fun with those sports, hated going to wrestling practice, and disliked everything that came with it. But there was a sharp turnaround during my eighth-grade season. Hayden had a big influence on me. I might have been a little jealous of his success, which turned me away from wanting to go all in on the sport. But a specific tournament changed that; he sent me some deep and meaningful texts about how much potential I had in the sport and that we had the opportunity to be one of the best sets of brothers to come out of the state. That really hit home for me and inspired me a lot. I recommitted myself to the sport, stopped playing baseball and football that spring going into freshman year, started attending all the club practices and extra workouts with Hayden, and our relationship grew a lot stronger from that. Then, into high school freshman and sophomore year, we were both on the same team, trained a lot, and learned a lot from each other. That text message he sent me in eighth grade really ignited my passion for the sport."

Parent Tip: Teach your athletes accountability by not letting mis-behaviors or wrong attitudes slide without consequences. Be okay with putting them in challenging positions where you know they might fail and experience a bit of mental and emotional pain. With your guidance, it will teach them how to handle it and help them grow.

"My parents were super supportive. I don't think you realize how lucky you are to have that until you grow up. As far as taking us across the state and country to practice and compete, they did everything they could to get us where we needed to be. A couple of things stood out as far as learning and growing. We never got in trouble if we lost. My dad and mom were super competitive and wanted to win just as much as anyone I've ever met. When you lose, it's hard, especially as a little kid. I had a period where I would freak out after a loss, with crying and screaming. They did a good job of not allowing me to get away with that, holding me accountable to lose respectfully. And helping me understand, If I didn't want that to happen again, I needed to work to get better and to win. 

There was never an aggressive attitude toward me or my siblings if we lost. You could tell they were upset, but it wasn't in a way that they were mad at us. The only time I remember getting yelled at was if my effort was bad or if I didn't try. As a kid, you might brush off your parents, but looking back, I'm glad they demanded high effort and the best from me. It didn't really matter if I won or lost, but how I competed and conducted myself mattered. Was it respectful, or was I a sore loser? If I behaved poorly, I knew I would be punished. It was never harsh; I never felt they were being unfair. I knew when I messed up and when I did things right, regardless of the outcome. The emphasis on effort, doing things the right way, and being respectful went a long way for me…

Teaching wouldn't have happened if they just let things slide without consequences. For example, if I mistreated someone, they made me apologize face to face, which is not fun. That taught me if I have to do this and it's embarrassing, then this isn't how I want to conduct myself. They also used examples of other kids, like pointing out a kid who lost but didn't throw a fit, showing that's how it should be. They did a good job using older kids I looked up to, whether in the high school program or kids a few years older than me, as examples. They would say, "Look at what these kids are doing; they're at a higher level, and watch how they handle losses." That showed me what to strive for. Putting me around positive mentors and good people was a really good thing they did; I was always surrounded by people who operated at a super high level, so naturally, I started to emulate what those people were like...

I think another thing they always did well was giving a bit of space. If I had a tough loss or a bad tournament, there were my fair share of quiet car rides home. But it never lasted long before they emphasized how much they loved me and how proud they were of me. They made it clear that they didn't care if I won or lost; all they really cared about was that I did my best. Hearing that means a ton to kids. It lets you know that you don't have the pressure to win or else your parents will be upset. It takes off the pressure of whether you feel loved or not. Even when they were mad at me, they'd say, "I know we're upset, but we love you. We want to see you improve and get better. Here's how you can do that." Then, it was on to the next thing. I've learned a lot through that...

One more thing that popped into my head about raising athletes—I have an older brothers and a younger sister. We're a competitive family, but one thing our parents always did was put us in challenging positions, where we were going to fail and learn how to deal with that. I think in today's age, a lot of people might shy away from putting their kids through situations where they experience that mental and emotional pain, but that's really the only way you can grow. Wrestling is such a great sport because you're inevitably going to lose and come up short. Our parents never shied away from putting us in those positions. They were there to help us afterwards, but we never shied away from good competition. As soon as we got better, we were put into harder age groups, into tougher brackets. So, we never felt like we could fool ourselves. There was always more, always someone out there that you could chase down. And I think that was huge for our development."

Coaching Tip: Encourage your athletes to set high standards and to model the behaviors of those who are finding success in the sport. Teaching athletes to emulate the work habits of top performers can motivate your athletes to raise their own standards.

"When I was younger, I was someone with a pretty high temper; I got mad easily and didn't like being teased or talked down to. When I was motivated or challenged by my coaches to do a certain thing, that would spark that passion, and I'd think, "Alright, I'm going to show you that I can do this." I wanted them to set a high goal for me, and then I'd go see if I could achieve it. That’s where I got my best work in. Reflecting on when I recommitted myself in eighth grade, I was in a really good club, Bison Legend Wrestling Club. Ian Assael was our club coach, and it was one of the best clubs in the state at that time. There were really good sophomores, juniors, and seniors in the club doing well at the Pennsylvania high school state level. Ian did a great job of telling me, "Look what these guys are doing. That’s what you need to be doing if you want to win at that level." This gave me a goal in practice; I wasn’t just going through the motions. I actively sought out what the best guys in the room were doing. I knew that if I did that consistently, there was no way I wouldn't get to where I wanted to be. He had this quote that has always stuck with me: "It doesn’t really matter what your goals are. If you’re the JV guy and you want to be the starter, you should be training like the starter." Essentially, he broke it down like a ladder: if you’re an NCAA Champion and you want to be a world medalist, then you should be training to be an Olympic/world medalist, not just an NCAA Champ. If you’re an NCAA qualifier and you want to be an All-American, you shouldn’t just train to be an All-American; you should train to be a national champion. And so on down the line, if you’re in high school, you shouldn’t just train to place at the state tournament; you should train to be the state champion. If you hold yourself to that standard, you’re going to pass many of those goals along the way. You may never become a state champion, but you may end up placing at the state tournament. If your goal was just to place, you wouldn’t have done as many things as a state champion would have been doing...

His ability to use examples of some of those really good guys in the room and challenge me to work like them was invaluable. Obviously, everyone has different styles, but using higher-level athletes as examples is beneficial for younger guys. It’s also good for those older guys because it’s positive reinforcement. When I got older, he would say to younger guys, "You need to be looking at what Trent is doing because he’s working at an extremely high level." That made me feel good and helped me become a leader, helping others along. That mindset of aiming for something greater than what you’re initially going for has been a guiding principle in my life. This year, I knew I wanted to win a national title, but I wasn’t training just to win; I was training to be the most dominant guy in the country and to win the Hodge Trophy. I was training to win the Olympics. I didn’t end up winning a national title, but by working like that, I had a great year with great results. If I had focused only on winning a national title, there might have been some things I wouldn’t have held myself accountable for. When you aim to train like an Olympic champion, you do everything right—from nutrition, training, sleep, to mindset. I held myself to that standard because that’s what I was aiming for."

Athlete Tip: #1: Have an edge that sets you apart from everyone else. #2: confront your fears in terms of competition and being a wrestler. #3: master the basics.

“I think there are three important things that can help. The first is having an edge that sets you apart from everyone else, which, in your mind, gives you an advantage when you're going into practice and competition. In ninth grade, I had to cut a lot of weight and wasn't doing it the right way. I didn't know how to cut weight back then, but I knew that I got really tough by the end of the year. I knew that if I could do that and get through it, then I could handle anything. So I had this mental edge where it's like, whatever you throw at me, I'm going to be able to handle, and I used that throughout my training up until college. 

The second thing is, you've got to confront your fears in terms of competition and being a wrestler. The biggest thing, especially in college, is asking yourself, "Are you scared of getting tired? Are you scared to take risks? Are you scared of what other people think of you?" Until you confront that and come up with honest answers for yourself, it's going to hold you back mentally from being free when you compete. This year was the best year of competition I had because I wasn't worried about the result or what other people thought. I knew I had trained and done everything I needed to do. I just wanted to start as soon as the whistle blew at a high pace, because as soon as I would start and maintain a high pace, I would do that the rest of the match. But if I held back and waited things out, then I was letting the other guy off the hook and it could come down to a one- or two-takedown match, which I didn't want. Being able to confront your fears as far as competing and just as a person sets your mind free and allows you to really attack things.

The third is, you've got to master the basics. I see this at the youth level all the time. I coach youth practices occasionally and run camps, and kids are trying to hit crazy moves and rolls. How about a sprawl? How about a stand-up, get away, get hand control? It all starts with the basics. I was lucky to have coaches that stressed that from a very young age all the way up to college. If you never get back to the basics, you cap yourself at a certain level because certain stuff only works for certain time periods. But the basics work at every level. The fundamentals and basics are crucial, and I can't stress that enough. I know you probably are laughing because you probably have to tell kids that, but yes, it's true.”

Negative Impact Tip: Give your kids some space. Drop them off at practice and come back. It’s hard to understand as a parent how much stress and pressure you can add to your athlete. If your athlete is focused on you during practice, they’ll have a harder time focusing on having fun, enjoying the sport, listening to the coach, and making wrestling their own thing, not yours.

"One thing I've been thinking about, and one thing I was really glad my parents didn't do, was sit in on practices and watch. When they took us to our practices or our club practices, they would drop us off, and we were at the discretion of the coach. I think all kids are maybe a little bit different, but I distinctly remember sometimes training with kids whose parents were on the side, with the kid looking over every couple of seconds to see what their parents were doing. I think that's a really hard way for kids to learn and to enjoy the sport. My parents would drop me off, and at that point, it was my decision whether to work hard or slack off, but I think that all comes out in the wash. Ultimately, it’s going to be a kid's decision whether he wants to be totally committed to it. But they don't need to make that decision at six and seven years old. It took me until I was 14 to really take it upon myself to get serious about it. But it was never because I had my dad staring at me or yelling at me during practice. It just took me a little bit longer, but I eventually figured that out. I think that’s maybe something I was really glad I didn't have to deal with. When I was a kid, I saw some of my teammates have to deal with that at the club, and I just remember that being really hard on them."

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